Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
