do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
