i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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