After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
