The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize