Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize