Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just gift wrapped bread.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
