You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
