...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
