how hairy? two words: wookie tits
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
