I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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