thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
