If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
