I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
