And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I will be naked everywhere
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
