it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
