we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
