We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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