Pregnant stripper...not hot.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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