you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My ass is underappreciated
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
True strength comes from lack of pants
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
