You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
