Who did Billy Mays play for?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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