I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
