im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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