She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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