we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
