now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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