About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
