would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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