thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
