what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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