its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize