i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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