AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
