We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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