you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
