you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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