totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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