dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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