ADVERTISEMENT

• (973): View more from New Jersey

  how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?

  Fav 8 5810 1485

  share tweet
  

• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  And to think..we used to do everything sober...

  Fav 7 5135 1251

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (914): View more from New York

  my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.

  Fav 41 6050 1282

  share tweet
  

• (651): View more from Minnesota

  And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.

  Fav 7 1631 849

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow

  Fav 9 1272 2231

  share tweet
  

• (618): View more from Illinois

  College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.

  (1-618): View more from Illinois

  This is true but you can't really get fired from college

  Fav 3 1590 784

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (614): View more from Ohio

  Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD

  Fav 9 1628 697

  share tweet
  

• (402): View more from Nebraska

  YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN

  Fav 2 959 511

  share tweet
  

• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.

  Fav 2 542 318

  share tweet
  
• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (702): View more from Nevada

  I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58

  (702): View more from Nevada

  EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101

  Fav 0 675 294

  share tweet
  

• (607): View more from New York

  I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators

  (1-607): View more from New York

  Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.

  Fav 3 505 134

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"

  Fav 1 381 143

  share tweet
  

• (502): View more from Kentucky

  My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.

  Fav 5 357 441

  share tweet
  

• (210): View more from Texas

  just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.

  Fav 1 526 140

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.

  Fav 0 47 7

  share tweet
  

Randomize