Texts From Last Night

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  (626): View more from California

  it was like eating out sand paper

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  (626): it was like eating out sand paper http://tfl.nu/u8qd
  Replies (32) Good night (568) Bad night (7793)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.

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  (316): No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here. http://tfl.nu/05bz
  Replies (71) Good night (867) Bad night (6188)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.

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  (601): I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win. http://tfl.nu/cl0o
  Replies (67) Good night (6775) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.

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  (812): About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix. http://tfl.nu/c1od
  Replies (43) Good night (9846) Bad night (726)
• Favorite

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  And you didn't burst into flames?

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  (339): He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church. (1-203): And you didn't burst into flames? http://tfl.nu/aa0l
  Replies (14) Good night (5362) Bad night (1074)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.

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  (314): Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault. http://tfl.nu/cvk2
  Replies (3) Good night (2538) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...

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  (416): Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card... http://tfl.nu/vpen
  Replies (9) Good night (4219) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'

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  (734): he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?' http://tfl.nu/pjxw
  Replies (4) Good night (2188) Bad night (905)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.

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  (269): I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police. http://tfl.nu/uj8w
  Replies (8) Good night (2761) Bad night (804)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.

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  (781): Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours. http://tfl.nu/9pdv
  Replies (11) Good night (1845) Bad night (1248)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar

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  (732): How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar http://tfl.nu/83wg
  Replies (10) Good night (3038) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm

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  (603): 100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm http://tfl.nu/mujv
  Replies (1) Good night (816) Bad night (256)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.

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  (315): It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people. http://tfl.nu/powz
  Replies (2) Good night (981) Bad night (230)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?

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  (602): Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning? http://tfl.nu/jjtq
  Replies (2) Good night (410) Bad night (240)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.

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  (502): My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things. http://tfl.nu/bhbf
  Replies (1) Good night (474) Bad night (222)

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