Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

your room smells of hookers.

(904): View more from Florida

And success

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(315): View more from New York

Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love

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(678): View more from Georgia

Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about

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(720): View more from Colorado

he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again

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(410): View more from Maryland

He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.

(1-410): View more from Maryland

True romance of the 21st century.

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(578): View more from

oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.

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(705): View more from Ontario

I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?

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(650): View more from California

I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?

(831): View more from California

I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak

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(631): View more from New York

I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"

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