ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live