wat bout pragnant strippers??
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to