Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
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