So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
