I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
