JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
