There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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