Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
