Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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