theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
