I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
