From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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