9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
