i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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