You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
