He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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