What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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