i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
