Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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