So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
this must be what syphilis tastes like
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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