Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
